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About Digital Art / Student Sherry 'Sheldon'27/Female/Canada Group :icondamn-boy: Damn-Boy
 
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Deviant for 14 Years
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$5 Patreon Appreciation - Sombra by zombielily $5 Patreon Appreciation - Sombra :iconzombielily:zombielily 121 5 If I Jump, Let me Sink by zombielily If I Jump, Let me Sink :iconzombielily:zombielily 35 4 $5 Patreon Appreciation - Felicia by zombielily $5 Patreon Appreciation - Felicia :iconzombielily:zombielily 28 3 $5 Patreon Appreciation - Lord Dominator by zombielily $5 Patreon Appreciation - Lord Dominator :iconzombielily:zombielily 69 6 Venus Fly by zombielily Venus Fly :iconzombielily:zombielily 92 6 Adelyn by zombielily Adelyn :iconzombielily:zombielily 17 1 $5 Patreon Appreciation - Olivia by zombielily $5 Patreon Appreciation - Olivia :iconzombielily:zombielily 22 2 Funfetti, I'm Ready by zombielily Funfetti, I'm Ready :iconzombielily:zombielily 62 6 Breakfast Buffet by zombielily Breakfast Buffet :iconzombielily:zombielily 29 7 Christmas Dress by zombielily Christmas Dress :iconzombielily:zombielily 30 5 Glitter Bomb! by zombielily Glitter Bomb! :iconzombielily:zombielily 25 4 Galactic S O U L - Full Print Tshirt by zombielily Galactic S O U L - Full Print Tshirt :iconzombielily:zombielily 18 6 I Want To Tear You Apart by zombielily I Want To Tear You Apart :iconzombielily:zombielily 45 5 $5 Patreon Appreciation - Meloetta by zombielily $5 Patreon Appreciation - Meloetta :iconzombielily:zombielily 74 11 Meow Wow by zombielily Meow Wow :iconzombielily:zombielily 35 4 $5 Patreon Appreciation - Vivian by zombielily $5 Patreon Appreciation - Vivian :iconzombielily:zombielily 27 5

Favourites

Hair by SoulKillur Hair :iconsoulkillur:SoulKillur 51 1 Peaches Commission by CamiFortuna Peaches Commission :iconcamifortuna:CamiFortuna 75 3 Britney by CamiFortuna Britney :iconcamifortuna:CamiFortuna 21 0 Utena and Anthy by CamiFortuna
Mature content
Utena and Anthy :iconcamifortuna:CamiFortuna 62 3
mommy and baby by Napdust mommy and baby :iconnapdust:Napdust 287 5 Bubblegum Bitch by SoulKillur Bubblegum Bitch :iconsoulkillur:SoulKillur 102 1 122 by yocco 122 :iconyocco:yocco 119 8 [T] Trinket by dreamywren [T] Trinket :icondreamywren:dreamywren 35 4 Fat Cats with Flags by Versiris Fat Cats with Flags :iconversiris:Versiris 115 3 [T] Sleepy Trinket by dreamywren [T] Sleepy Trinket :icondreamywren:dreamywren 44 7 Lillie by SoulKillur Lillie :iconsoulkillur:SoulKillur 110 2 C: Chizeropa by Reiltra C: Chizeropa :iconreiltra:Reiltra 35 1 Pokemon: Summer Alola Stickers by QueenAshi Pokemon: Summer Alola Stickers :iconqueenashi:QueenAshi 368 10 [COMM] MrNotSoAnonymous by tinysnorlax [COMM] MrNotSoAnonymous :icontinysnorlax:tinysnorlax 14 0 Lovette by Napdust Lovette :iconnapdust:Napdust 226 7 Tadhg Mini Print for Anarchy Dreamers Kickstarter by ZoeStanleyArts Tadhg Mini Print for Anarchy Dreamers Kickstarter :iconzoestanleyarts:ZoeStanleyArts 229 5
I'm sure you have noticed the decline of cosplay photos on my page.

Cosplay is a hobby, and for me, its not even something I personally do anymore. I crack open the cosplay closet every so often at events, but realistically, I don't have the energy or money to go to many events and get new costumes. I'd love to continue to dress up, especially as my dream cosplays, but conventions for me are more about having a booth and getting my artwork out there and meeting other artists.

I never felt like I fit in with the cosplay crowd, and a lot of them don't even talk to me anymore since I stopped attending conventions as an attendee. I don't know if it's me as a person, or because I didn't have time and money to dress up.

When I look at these photos, I see someone who is trying deseperately to fit in, make as many people happy as possible without any regard to her own happiness, and is dressing up for someone else. A majority of my costumes were picked because I was trying to impress someone, or I was apart of a group. I can say with confidence that my favourite costumes are ones I did just for fun, like Velma, Rose and Cherry. I truly enjoyed those characters and felt I could be them with little effort. I remember choosing costumes based on if the photographer liked that series or not. Did the person I was dating like a cartoon? Who is the character they like? Better be that then. Everyone likes being told they look nice, and because my self esteem was so low at that point that I honestly craved the positive feedback in an unhealthy way. I NEEDED this validation, but people weren't looking at me, they were looking at the character I was.

Because of this unhealthy mentality, I was taken advantage a lot of the time within the cosplay community. Money, time, emotions, and even physically. I shyed away from it when I found out that someone was using me for their own personal fetish, as I felt disgusting and angry. Finding my cosplay photos on other sites and seeing the gross comments people leave are so dehumanizing. Then to come here and find the same traffic and comments either from said sites or people sharing my username was just as bad.

I want to be an artist in a different way, and making new products and selling items that are personal to me is so thrilling. It's a happiness I cannot begin to explain. I only felt that way a few times while wearing cosplay. I was always too worried about being made fun of, finding a shitty candid photo of myself online, reading crappy comments on forums, if I looked pretty enough, the accuracy of the outfit, etc. I thought this was suppose to be fun? The amount of stress it gave me was wild. Like, just as bad as attending college for animation, which was sleepless nights and lots of crying. My costumes weren't even good for the amount of time and money I put into them.

I've been selling and donating my costumes for the past 4-5 years now, and I think it's time to just move on from these. Some photos I really enjoy and like, and might keep them up for now, but others just bring back such a sad time in my life.

Slowly, I have been trying to learn to love myself for who I am. Wear what I want, and look like how I want to. It's been an uphill battle for me, but I feel like I am finally coming to some sort of agreement with myself when it comes to self image. Will I dress up in the future? Probably. Will I keep attending conventions? Maybe not as much. Do I still love the art of cosplay? Absolutely.

I just felt like it was time to close this chapter.

deviantID

zombielily
Sherry 'Sheldon'
Artist | Student | Digital Art
Canada
Currently in Toronto/ON/Canada

I enjoy cartoons, cosplay, animated movies and original characters!
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:iconfaustgurl:
faustgurl Featured By Owner May 15, 2003
WELCOME!!!!!!!!! welcome to DA mah friend!!!!! YAAAY!!!!!!! *glomps you* Hug YAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!
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:iconmiikey:
miikey Featured By Owner May 15, 2003
deviantART even :D (Big Grin)
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:iconmiikey:
miikey Featured By Owner May 15, 2003
WELCOME TO :D (Big Grin) EVART:
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